My friend Roy has been excited this week. Roy used to work on, and loves, the railway. Last weekend the Oulton Broad signal box was moved. It had become redundant due to advances in technology. There’ve been pictures of a crane lifting it onto a lorry.
It’s been moved to the East Anglia Transport Museum in Carlton Colville, where it will be preserved for future generations. Roy’s looking forward to seeing it there.
Some of my elderly friends have suggested that they feel like some redundant signal box; they may have historical interest, but they have no present useful purpose… Sometimes I feel like that too.
I’ve been encouraged this week by reports from folks who’ve said nice things about me. They’ve appreciated conversations we’ve had. Apparently, without realising it, I’ve said the right thing, in the right way, at the right time.
…But then I reflect on the ‘me’ that I know. Paraphrasing the ‘General Confession’ I know that ‘I’ve followed too much the devices and desires of my own heart… I’ve left undone those things which I ought to have done; And I’ve done those things which I ought not to have done.’
So who am I? The ‘me’ that others see? The ‘me’ that I know?
In his poem ‘Who Am I?’ Deitrich Bonhoeffer reflects… Everybody says that he’s a good man…
Who am I? They often tell me,
I come out of my cell
Calmly, cheerfully, resolutely,
Like a lord from his palace…
He asks:
Am I really then what others say of me?
Or am I only what I know of myself?
He tries to think it through…
Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person today and another tomorrow?
Am I both at once? In front of others, a hypocrite,
And to myself a contemptible, fretting weakling?
He concludes:
Who am I? These lonely questions mock me.
Whoever I am, You know me, I am yours, O God.
I’m content for Bonhoeffer’s conclusion to be mine.
malcolmsmusings.org 
Great poem. I’ve not read it before, thanks for sharing it. 😊
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I agree, Gail. It’s a great poem – particularly when you consider who wrote it. Clearly I’ve only quoted parts of it…
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Great
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Thank you
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Count me as another that knows of Bonhoeffer but had never read this. Thanks for another wonderful week of messages. Have a great weekend!
–Scott
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Thanks, Scott. I remember reading the bonhoeffer poem some years ago. It’s come back to me this week with some power – certainly made me think!
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Thank you always for writing such thought-provoking and reassuring posts, Malcolm. I am just catching up on your recent ones. This one resonates with my soul, about my humility and integrity. With writing, it is easy for me to put a more positive spin on my lack, or make sense of my shortcomings, or perhaps assign an intention where there is none. Whoever I am, You know me, I am yours, O God. Amen. Thank you.
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Thank you, Karen. I think that life in general and social media in particular encourages me to present the ‘me’ that I want others to see. It’s too easy to write what I think reads well and puts me in a good light. Even in quoting scripture I can imply that I understand it and live by it….
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