Fightings and Fears… Brian, Uriah and Malcolm…

The old hymn, ‘Just as I am’ contains the line ‘Fightings and fears, within, without’. Over the years I’ve identified with it on a number of occasions; it’s described my anxieties and uncertainties…

Yesterday we learnt of the death of Brian Wilson, of ‘The Beach Boys’. Sixty years ago, when BBC’s ‘Top of the Pops’ was a vital part of my week, I thought that The Beach Boys were the one American group that were as good as The Beatles and the other great British 60s bands.

Wilson’s creative genius wrote and produced many great songs… Sadly, his publicity over the years, yesterday’s obituaries, refer to the complex demons that he faced. Last night’s BBC news referred to his ‘drug fuelled mental unravelling…’

Brian Wilson faced panic attacks and mental breakdowns… internal ‘fightings and fears’.

Earlier this week we heard of the death of Uriah Rennie, the Premier League’s first black referee, who refereed more than 300 games, including 175 in the Premier League, between 1997 and 2008.

Anti-discrimination charity Kick It Out said of Rennie ‘He will always be a Premier League legend by becoming its first black referee, providing leadership, talent and visibility that proved inspirational to many.’

Fellow referees spoke of his professionalism, kindness, humility, understanding of football… Rennie campaigned on issues including improving equality and inclusion in sport, mental health and tackling deprivation.

Rennie faced prejudice and discrimination… external fightings and fears.

Earlier this week I came across a quote from the journalist, author and broadcaster Malcolm Muggeridge. Muggeridge, always outspoken and opinionated, converted to Christianity in the 1960s and wrote:

‘Jesus is the prophet of the loser’s, not the victor’s camp, proclaiming that the first will be last, that the weak are strong and the fools are wise; that the poor and lowly, not the rich and proud, possess the Kingdom of Heaven.’

Malcolm Muggeridge’s Jesus not only included but welcomed the ‘fightings and fears, within, without’, faced by Brian Wilson and Uriah Rennie… Where does that leave mine?