Granddaughter-Hannah has left home and gone to university this weekend. Along with thousands of other young people she packed up her stuff and has been left alone with hundreds of people she’s never met before. The ongoing joke for the last couple of weeks has been she’s ‘learning adulting’.
Today the joke becomes a reality.
The bigger joke is that I’m not sure what ‘adulting’ is. It’s 55 years since I left home. Then, I thought I knew then what constituted ‘adult’ thoughts, beliefs, conversation, attitudes, actions, behaviour… Now I’m not so sure.
Two stories over the weekend have challenged my ‘adulting’ attitudes.
The Italian prime minister, Giorgia Meloni, visited the migrant reception centre on the Italian island of Lampedusa, where more than 8,000 migrants have arrived over the past three days. It raises many ‘adult’ questions… questions repeated in the UK many times in recent years.
The ‘adult’ motivation of those leaving their homes, spending their life savings, risking their lives; are migrant parents ‘adulting’ well or responsibly? And those of us secure in countries receiving immigrants. What is the correct humanitarian, political, ‘adult’ response?
Comedian and actor Russell Brand has been accused of rape, controlling behaviour, sexual assaults and emotional abuse… Brand has denied the allegations and said his relationships have been “always consensual”…
Are the women concerned victims, making ‘adult’ allegations? How does Russell Brand respond in an ‘adult’ way? What should be my ‘adult’ response be?
What demonstrates mature ‘adulting’ for Hannah, Giogia, Russell, nameless migrants and anonymous women? Taking personal responsibility, truth, justice, compassion…?
I remember St Paul’s wisdom, discussing immaturity: ‘When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me…’
Having putting childish things behind him he concludes: ‘And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.’
Could these be key components for ‘adulting’?
malcolmsmusings.org 
My daughter learned so much when she started university last year. And she was surprisingly prepared. I was the one anxious.
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I think you are right, Adel. Family members are often more anxious that their youngsters. The hard part is letting go and trusting them.
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Hannah may want to sharpen her street smarts as she ventures out into the world. She can love everyone, but that doesn’t mean she has to trust everyone. Good luck to your granddaughter, Malcolm!
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Thanks Nancy. I’m as confident as I can be that she’ll be OK. We’re looking forward to hearing her news! Being grandparents is a different deal and responsibility – because we have to look out for her parents too!!
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The answers to your hard questions would sure come easier if life was always fair. 8000 people will most likely need 8000 different variations of answers verses a blanket answer. God sure left the door open to working both sides of the answers when he said “love your neighbor”
That’s my way of saying “I have less answers than questions” and the question car has lapped my answer car many times.
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I’m with you Gary. I’ve certainly a lot more questions than answers. I like the picture of the question car lapping the answer car. I sometimes wonder if they’re on the same circuit!
And in all of that my faith gets stronger, and I trust my Father-God more deeply.
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I used to pole vault in high school. The bar never went down, it was always raised until no one could clear it. The older I get the more I see my faith bar being raised…higher and higher. Job seemingly had the highest bar ever and never cleared it until he walked away and said “tho he slay me , yet will I trust him” ….God does want us to get there and it seems you are there no matter the unanswered questions…A good place to be knowing God in this way.
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Job, is one of my favourite characters. He asked all of the questions, got no answers, said with confidence, I know that my redeemer lives in the middle of his confusion and finished with a much deeper knowledge of his god.
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