The Life I Never Led

May be an image of nature

Yesterday I was talking to a friend, I’ll call her Megan. After many years of denial, shame and hoping that it would go away she has finally faced up to the fact that she has an addiction. She has a Christian faith, so she sees God as part of her recovery; it’s also demanding effort on her part. So far she has been ‘clean’ for about 2 weeks.

The balance between letting life happen and being proactively involved is a challenge. Some say ‘what will be, will be’, leaving everything to ‘fate’ or ‘God’; others, believing that their destiny is in their hands, fight their battles and make the most of every opportunity.

In the Bible-story of King David his general Joab, about to go into battle, says: ‘Be strong and let us fight bravely for our people and… our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight.’

…balancing his action and God’s action.

In ‘Sister Act’ the quiet and timid Sister Mary Robert has a spiritual vocation. She’s given herself to her God and is lives in obedience to her calling and Mother Superior.

Reviewing her life she realises that she’s lived passively, deliberately avoided anything that involves decisions, conflict or pushing herself forward. She sings ‘The life I never led’:

I want to be brave,
I want to be strong.
I want to believe
I’m where i belong.
To stand up and say
“i’m seizing the day”
To not just obey, but to choose.

Sister Mary Robert doesn’t lose her faith but she makes a deliberate choice to approach life in a new and positive way. Her life is transformed, gaining new joy and purpose.

What’s gone may be gone,
But I won’t go on
Playing dead!
It’s time to start living
The life I never led.

Musing on this balance of proactive involvement, and waiting, trusting acceptance, of Megan, Joab and Mary Robert…



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