Listening to a Story

We all like a good story… in print, on a screen, from a friend. Hearing the story we can be amused, entertained, intrigued. But listening… that’s something different.

Four stories from yesterday:

Natasha and Jordan Pendered had three children, decided for one last baby to complete the family, and had triplets!

I hear the story – see the picture – it looks a lovely family – they’ll all live happily ever after.

I listen… Natasha has to walk six children to school and back every day… childcare costs £3,500 a month… needing a new car… rearrangements in their four bedroomed house…

I hear of a young girl’s resilience and courage, understand history better. I hear messages of truth and justice…

But then I listen… I see the harsh cruelty of evil people… I feel Lily’s determined hope in hope-lessness, her selfless care for her two younger sisters, her suffering, humiliation, pain…

At Men’s Shed Mike told me part of the story of his first wife. I heard about the acrimonious divorce, losing touch with his daughter, but recently re-establishing contact.  

I listened more carefully… Mike’s daughter coming out as lesbian… wanting to get to know her dad again… anxious that he might not approve… Mike’s delight at re-establishing a relationship… his ambivalence to his ex-wife… I started to empathise.

I mentioned my hospital visit to see Betty. I heard a confused, scared lady, who had a limited understanding of reality and made little sense.

But I listened… I understood her fears better… I recalled previous conversations about her strong Christian faith that has sustained her over many years. I listened to the conversation of her life of compassion, hospitality and service… I was listening to the real Betty.  

Today I shall hear much. I pray that I shall continue to learn to listen more carefully so that I can understand, empathise, learn…