The Caroline Principle

Hands, touching hands, Reaching out, Touching me, Touching you… Sweet Caroline, Good times never seemed so good…

Many are introduced to Neil Diamond’s love song ‘Sweet Caroline’ as an anthem belted out at some sports event…

Perhaps it expresses something deeper… I’ll call it ‘The Caroline Principle’.

Twenty years ago, I conducted many of my relationships with caution, deliberately keeping people at arm’s length. In more recent years, particularly since retirement, I’ve learnt… I’m still learning about building closer relationships… through the six stages of The Caroline Principle:

1. Touching hands… Deeper awareness… I see children and parents holding hands… men shaking hands… loving couples touching hands… physical closeness expressing mental and emotional closeness. Hands can touch…

• Reaching out… Being proactive… I reach out. Some are lonely because they aren’t willing or able to take that first step. Some complain about relationships with friends or family but do nothing. I take the initiative…

• Touching me… Becoming vulnerable… I allow others to touch me… physically, emotionally, mentally… letting down my defences I understand their frustrations, disappointments, failures, pain… I develop empathy that feels with… Geoff, Liz, Barry…

• Touching you… Influencing others… I can then, perhaps in some small way, help encourage, support my friend, brother, neighbour… Walking alongside, understanding them, being a positive influence…

• Sweet Caroline… Transformed relationships… I’m developing relationships that are genuine, loving, caring, supportive… My friends become sweet Geoff, sweet Liz, sweet Barry…

• Good times never seemed so good… Transformed perspective… It isn’t that the world has become perfect, but because Geoff, Liz and Barry are touching me, and I’m touching them I see life in a new light…

In the Jesus narrative I see Him demonstrating this Caroline principle… his deep awareness of need… seeking out the blind beggar, the hated tax collector, the insignificant child… being touched by their need… bringing his love and support… transforming their lives and perspective.

As a follower of Jesus, I seek to follow his example.