We play ‘Go Compare’, with our marriage, family, money, popularity, reputation, looks, talents… Looking at those we think are better than us we feel inadequate, deflated, useless…
How do we create a new mind-set where we aren’t feeding our low self-esteem by constantly comparing ourselves with others?
Musing on ideas that have helped me:
- Know yourself: Face up to your past. Forgive yourself for mistakes and failures. Be honest about what you are good at, what you are not good at. Not being the best is OK. Accept yourself as you are.
- Have an attitude of gratitude: Identify good times from your past and little things you are grateful for in the present – your morning coffee, your bike-ride to work. Be grateful for what you have; don’t be bitter about what you don’t have.
- Be positive: Celebrate your differences. Do things that bring happiness – read a book, meet a friend, walk alone in your favourite place; take your mind off your personal rubbish. Give a smile in the supermarket queue…
- Focus on the solution not the problem: Recognise where you are but focus on where you would like to be. Don’t worry about the operation; focus on the resulting good health. Don’t focus on your debt; focus on your freedom once it’s paid off…
- Focus on others: Get out of yourself and over yourself. Change the focal point of your attention. Celebrate the successes of others. Understand their needs and problems. Do the random act of kindness, give the gift, send the card…
- Create your best self: Don’t focus on your weaknesses and faults; identify your unique strengths, skills and positive characteristics; search for and build your ‘best self’.
For me, God is in each of these steps, helping me to experience St Paul’s wisdom: ‘I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances….’
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