Fairy-cakes or Bread-and-Butter?

Yesterday…

John’s in his eighties, lived and worked in Lowestoft all his life, was telling me how he left school, got a job, got a girlfriend, thought he knew it all.

One day his dad said to him (in a very strong local accent!) ‘Boy, are you thinking of getting married? You don’t want a fairy-cake girl. You want a bread-and-butter girl…’

John went on to say that he thought he’d married a ‘bread-and-butter girl’. They’re still married today.

I wasn’t exactly sure what John’s dad meant, but I liked the idea.

Chrissie’s in her twenties. She’s recently moved in with her boyfriend, Tom. Chrissie’s a very organised young woman. She likes lists and plans. Because money is tight, she’s drawn up priorities – rooms to decorate, furniture to buy, as they can afford.

Yesterday Chrissie was excited because she’d just bought a whirligig washing line. I asked if it was on her priority list. It wasn’t, but because they needed it that was OK.

I thought that Chrissie is probably a bread-and-butter girl.

I was reading Elizabeth Gilbert… describing rushing into an office building:

‘…I caught an unexpected glimpse of myself in a security mirror’s reflection. In that moment my brain did an odd thing – it fired off this split-second message: ‘Hey! You know her! That’s a friend of yours!’ And I actually ran forward toward my own reflection with a smile, ready to welcome that girl whose name I had lost but whose face was so familiar…’

She’s embarrassed as she realises her mistake…

Musing…

…John’s had a lifetime to reflect on his marriage to a bread-and-butter girl.

…Chrissie and Tom work out together whether their priorities are bread-and butter, fairy-cakes or whirligigs.

…Elizabeth split-second response wasn’t about character type or material priorities; it was about friendship… which is also somewhere in the hearts and minds of John, Chrissie and Tom.

…Last week I heard, ‘Greater love has no-one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.’  …putting bread-and-butter and fairy-cakes into perspective.